How to Show Up On Social Media When You're Terrified of Being Seen
You've written the post seventeen times. You've taken forty-three selfies. You've rehearsed the video until you hate the sound of your own voice. But you still haven't hit publish. Because the thought of being seen—really seen—makes your heart race and your hands shake. Sis, let's talk about the fear nobody admits but everyone feels.
I need to tell you about the post that sat in my drafts for six weeks.
It was a simple post—just me sharing my story about overcoming bullying and finding my voice. Vulnerable, yes. But authentic. Real. The kind of content people say they want to see.
But I couldn't hit publish.
Every time I'd open the draft, my chest would tighten. My hands would shake. My brain would flood with every possible worst-case scenario:
"What if people think I'm attention-seeking?"
"What if they think I'm being dramatic?"
"What if someone from my past sees this and mocks me again?"
"What if I'm too much, too loud, too vulnerable?"
"What if nobody engages and it just... sits there, proving I was right to be scared?"
So I'd close the draft. Tell myself I'd post it tomorrow. And tomorrow became next week. Next week became next month.
For six weeks, that post haunted me. Because I knew I needed to share it. But I was absolutely terrified of being seen.
And if I'm honest? That post was just one of dozens I never published. Videos I recorded and deleted. Stories I typed and saved to drafts. Offers I created but never announced.
Because here's the brutal truth nobody tells you about building a business online: The hardest part isn't creating the content. It's hitting publish.
It's choosing to be seen when everything in you wants to stay hidden.
If you're reading this and your chest feels tight because you're living this reality right now—you have posts in your drafts folder, videos you've recorded and deleted, offers you've created but haven't launched—I want you to know:
You are not alone. You are not broken. And there is a way through this fear.
Why We're Terrified of Being Seen
Let's get honest about what's really happening when you're paralyzed by the publish button.
Surface Level: "What Will People Think?"
This is the fear we admit to: "I'm worried about judgment. What if people criticize me? What if they think I'm not qualified?"
The reality: People will think all kinds of things. Some will love you. Some won't. Most will scroll past without a second thought. And none of their opinions change your worth or your calling.
Second Layer: "What If I Fail Publicly?"
"What if I put myself out there and nothing happens? What if nobody buys? What if I look foolish for trying?"
The reality: Public failure feels vulnerable because it's visible. But staying hidden guarantees you'll never succeed. The question isn't "what if I fail?" It's "can I survive failure and keep going?" And the answer is yes.
Third Layer: "What If I Succeed and Can't Sustain It?"
This one surprises people: "What if people actually show up? What if I get more clients than I can handle? What if I'm not ready for success?"
The reality: Fear of success is often bigger than fear of failure. Because success means change, responsibility, and stepping into a bigger version of yourself. But you can handle more than you think.
Fourth Layer: "What If They See the REAL Me and Reject Me?"
Getting warmer: "What if I show up authentically and they don't like who I actually am? What if my personality is too much/not enough? What if I'm rejected for being myself?"
The reality: Rejection for being yourself is actually a gift—it filters out people who weren't your people anyway. And the ones who DO resonate? They'll become your most loyal community.
Core Layer: "What If I'm Not Worthy of Being Seen?"
Here's the deepest truth: "What if I'm fundamentally not valuable enough, interesting enough, important enough to take up space online? What if I don't matter?"
The reality: This is the wound beneath all the fear. This is what we're really dealing with. And sis, this is where healing begins.
You are terrified of being seen because somewhere along the way, you learned that being seen isn't safe.
Maybe:
You were bullied for standing out
You were shamed for being "too much"
You were criticized when you tried something new
You were rejected when you showed your real self
You were told to be quiet, smaller, less visible
So your nervous system learned: Visibility = Danger. Hiding = Safety.
And now, even though your business NEEDS visibility, your body is screaming at you to stay hidden.
This isn't weakness. This is your nervous system trying to protect you based on old data.
But here's what changes everything: You're no longer that person who wasn't safe to be seen. You're a grown woman with agency, boundaries, and the ability to choose who gets access to you.
What's Really At Stake When You Stay Hidden?
The People Who Need You Never Find You
Right now, there's a woman out there who needs exactly what you offer. She's searching for help with the exact problem you solve. She's praying for someone who understands her specific struggle.
But she can't find you because you're hiding.
Every day you stay invisible is another day she stays stuck. Every post you don't publish is a message she doesn't receive. Every video you delete is a solution she doesn't discover.
Your fear of being seen is keeping someone else stuck in the dark.
The Income You Need Stays Out of Reach
You can have the best offer in the world, but if nobody knows it exists, nobody can buy it.
Visibility isn't vanity—it's how you get paid.
Every week you avoid showing up is a week of potential income you miss. Every month you stay hidden is a month your family budget suffers. Every quarter you're invisible is a quarter your business doesn't grow.
You can't build a sustainable business in secret.
Your Confidence Never Develops
Here's the cruel irony: You think you'll post when you feel confident. But confidence comes FROM posting, not before it.
Every time you avoid visibility, you reinforce the belief that you can't handle it. Every time you delete that video, you prove to yourself that you're not ready.
But every time you hit publish despite fear, you build evidence that you CAN do hard things.
Confidence is built through repeated exposure to the thing you fear—and surviving it. You can't think your way to confidence. You have to act your way there.
The Business You Envisioned Never Materializes
You have a vision for your business. A dream of what it could become. Plans for the impact you want to make.
But vision without visibility stays fantasy.
You can strategy and plan and prepare all you want. But until you're willing to be seen implementing that strategy, it remains theoretical.
Your business grows in proportion to your willingness to be visible.
The Example You Could Set Never Gets Witnessed
If you have children, employees, or anyone watching you, they're learning from what you do—not what you intend to do.
What are they learning when they watch you hide?
That having gifts means nothing if you're too scared to use them. That your voice doesn't matter. That playing small is safer than being brave.
But what could they learn if they watched you be courageous?
That fear is normal but not final. That your voice matters even when it shakes. That showing up imperfectly is better than hiding perfectly.
The example you're NOT setting might be the most expensive cost of all.
The Mindset Shifts That Change Everything
Before you can change your behavior, you have to change your thinking. Here are the mindset shifts that make visibility possible:
From "I Need Confidence First" to "Confidence Comes From Doing"
Old belief: "I'll post when I feel confident."
New truth: "I'll feel confident AFTER I post repeatedly and survive."
You will never feel ready. But you will feel braver each time you do it anyway.
From "Everyone Will Judge Me" to "My People Will Find Me"
Old belief: "Everyone who sees this will have an opinion, and most will be negative."
New truth: "My ideal people will resonate and engage. Others will scroll. Haters will reveal themselves early so I can block them. This is all working in my favor."
Not everyone is your audience. Stop trying to please people who were never meant to be served by you.
From "I Have to Be Perfect" to "I Have to Be Present"
Old belief: "If I'm going to show up, everything needs to be polished, professional, and perfectly executed."
New truth: "People don't connect with perfect. They connect with present. My imperfect presence is more valuable than my perfect absence."
Perfection is impressive. Presence is connectable. Choose connection.
From "Visibility Is Dangerous" to "Hiding Is More Dangerous"
Old belief: "If I stay small, I stay safe."
New truth: "Staying hidden keeps me stuck, broke, and frustrated. The real danger is never trying."
What you're running from (visibility) might be scary. But what you're running toward (a life of regret and unfulfilled potential) is scarier.
From "What If I Fail?" to "What If I Don't Try?"
Old belief: "What if I put myself out there and fail publicly?"
New truth: "What if I hide my whole life and never know what could have been?"
The risk of trying and failing is temporary. The regret of never trying lasts forever.
Seven Practical Steps to Show Up Despite Fear
Okay, let's get practical. Here's how to actually do this:
Step 1: Start Where You Are (Imperfectly)
The action: Post ONE piece of content this week, exactly as you are right now.
Not when you:
Have professional photos
Master video editing
Figure out your brand colors
Feel confident
Have more followers
Right now. As you are. Imperfectly.
What this looks like:
A simple text post sharing one lesson you learned
A selfie with a real caption about your journey
A 30-second video (one take, no editing) about one tip
A story showing your actual workspace (mess included)
Mantra: "Imperfect presence beats perfect absence every single time."
Step 2: Begin With the Smallest Scary Thing
The action: Don't jump to going live if typing a caption terrifies you. Start with the smallest version of scary.
Visibility hierarchy (from least to most scary):
Text post (no face)
Text post with stock image
Text post with selfie
Carousel post teaching something
Photo of you with longer caption
Short video (recorded, can redo)
Story (disappears in 24 hours)
Reel or TikTok (more permanent)
Going live (real-time)
Start at YOUR starting point. If text posts feel manageable, start there. Master that level before moving up.
Mantra: "I don't have to do the scariest thing first. I just have to do the next right thing."
Step 3: Create Before You're Consumed by Fear
The action: When inspiration hits, create immediately—before fear catches up.
Why this works: You have about a 20-minute window between inspiration and fear-paralysis. Use it.
When you have an idea:
Write it out immediately (in notes app, draft, anywhere)
Record the video right then (don't wait to "set up")
Take the photo before you overthink it
Capture the moment before it passes
The longer you wait, the bigger fear grows.
Mantra: "Inspiration is faster than fear. I'll catch the wave before the doubt drowns it."
Step 4: Hit Publish Before You're "Ready"
The action: Give yourself a 10-minute window from final edit to publish.
Why this works: The longer content sits in drafts, the more you'll edit it, doubt it, and eventually delete it.
The 10-minute rule:
Finish your content
Do ONE quick review for typos/clarity
Make any necessary edits
Within 10 minutes, publish
Don't give yourself time to:
Rewrite it seventeen times
Show it to twelve people for approval
Analyze every word choice
Talk yourself out of it
Mantra: "Done and published beats perfect and hidden. I'll hit post before fear talks me out of it."
Step 5: Respond to Engagement, Ignore Crickets
The action: When people engage positively, respond. When nobody engages, keep going anyway.
Why this works: Your brain needs evidence that showing up is safe and valuable.
When people engage:
Respond to every comment (especially early ones)
Thank people for shares
Continue conversations that start
Notice that engagement = connection = safety
When crickets happen:
Remember: algorithms are unpredictable
Not every post will hit
Some of your best work gets the least engagement
The right people saw it even if they didn't comment
Mantra: "Engagement is a gift, not a requirement. I'll show up regardless of response."
Step 6: Celebrate Every Act of Courage
The action: Treat every post, video, or story as a victory—because it IS.
Why this works: Your brain learns what to repeat based on what you celebrate.
How to celebrate:
Take a screenshot of the published post
Text a friend: "I did the scary thing!"
Journal: "Today I was brave by..."
Give yourself a literal reward (coffee, break, treat)
Tell your family: "Mommy was courageous today"
Do NOT minimize it: "Oh, it was just a little post." No. You overcame fear. That's huge.
Mantra: "Every time I show up despite fear, I'm building courage muscles. This matters."
Step 7: Repeat Until It's Not Scary Anymore
The action: Commit to showing up (at whatever level) for 30 days straight.
Why this works: Repeated exposure to fear reduces its power. What terrifies you today will feel normal in a month.
The 30-day visibility challenge:
Day 1-10: It feels terrifying every time
Day 11-20: Still scary but getting manageable
Day 21-30: Starting to feel normal
Day 31+: You're doing it without overthinking
By day 30, you'll look back at day 1 and barely recognize that scared version of yourself.
Mantra: "This gets easier every single time I do it. I just have to keep going."
What To Do When Fear Tries to Pull You Back
Fear will try to stop you. Here's what to do when it hits:
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
When anxiety hits before posting:
Name 5 things you can see
Name 4 things you can touch
Name 3 things you can hear
Name 2 things you can smell
Name 1 thing you can taste
This interrupts the fear spiral and brings you back to present reality.
Reality-Check the Worst Case Scenario
Ask: "What's the actual worst thing that could happen?"
Then ask: "If that happened, could I survive it?"
Usually:
Worst case: Nobody engages, or someone leaves a mean comment
Can you survive it: Yes, easily
Actual likely outcome: Some people engage, most scroll, life continues
Fear makes mountains out of molehills. Reality-check the size.
Phone a Friend (Before You Delete)
Before you delete that post or video, text someone:
"I'm about to delete this because I'm scared. Can you tell me if I'm being irrational?"
Having one person who believes in you can counteract the dozens of imaginary critics in your head.
Pray + Breathe
Combine spiritual and physical:
Prayer: "God, I'm scared to be seen. Help me remember that You see me and that's enough. Give me courage."
Breathwork: Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 6. Repeat 3 times.
This calms your nervous system while inviting God into your fear.
Post First, Process Later
Sometimes you just need to hit publish and walk away.
Post it. Close the app. Go do something else.
Don't sit there watching for engagement. Don't refresh constantly. Don't analyze every minute.
Trust that you did the brave thing, and let it do its work without your anxiety hovering over it.
A Prayer for the Woman Terrified of Being Seen
Let me pray over you, hidden one:
Father,
I lift up every woman who's terrified of being seen. Every entrepreneur with posts in her drafts folder. Every gifted woman hiding behind perfectionism. Every called woman paralyzed by fear of judgment.
Right now, would You speak truth louder than her fear?
Remind her that:
You see her, and Your opinion is the only one that matters
She was made to be light, not to hide under a bushel
Her voice matters even when it shakes
Her message is needed by someone searching for it
Courage isn't the absence of fear—it's acting despite it
Heal the wounds that made visibility feel dangerous:
The bullying that taught her to stay small
The criticism that made her doubt her worth
The rejection that convinced her she's too much
The shame that said she should be quieter
The comparison that whispers she's not enough
Replace her fear with:
Holy boldness that comes from knowing who she is in You
Supernatural courage that only You can provide
Unshakeable confidence rooted in Your calling, not others' opinions
Peace that passes understanding even when hitting publish
Help her see that:
Staying hidden dishonors the gifts You gave her
Her fear is keeping someone else stuck
Imperfect visibility beats perfect hiding
She's more ready than she thinks
Her worth isn't determined by engagement metrics
Break the lies that keep her invisible:
"Nobody wants to hear from me" → You've given her a message
"I'll post when I'm ready" → Confidence comes from doing
"What if they judge me?" → You've already approved her
"I'm not qualified" → Her story qualifies her
"It has to be perfect" → You use imperfect people
Give her the courage to:
Hit publish before she's "ready"
Show up imperfectly but consistently
Share her story even though it's vulnerable
Offer her gifts even though she feels unqualified
Be seen even though it's terrifying
Send her the right people at the right time:
The woman who needed exactly that post today
The client who was searching for her specific solution
The encourager who comments at just the right moment
The community that celebrates her courage
And when she wants to delete, hide, or quit—remind her why she started. Remind her who needs her. Remind her that You didn't give her these gifts to bury them.
Let this be the day she steps out of hiding and into her calling. Let this be the moment fear loses and faith wins. Let this be when she chooses courage over comfort.
Make her unmuted, unafraid, and unstoppable.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Your Next Brave Step
Sis, if you made it this far, something in you wants to be seen—even if you're scared.
Here's your next step:
1. Take the 7-Day Visibility Challenge
I created a free 7-Day Visibility Challenge specifically for women terrified of showing up:
Day 1: Text post, no photo
Day 2: Text post with stock image
Day 3: Selfie with short caption
Day 4: 30-second video (no editing)
Day 5: Behind-the-scenes story
Day 6: Teach one thing (your choice of format)
Day 7: Share your visibility journey
📋 Join the 7-Day Visibility Challenge here
2. Listen to the Full Episode
This blog is based on an episode of Beyond The Comfort Zone: For Thriving Women in Business where I share:
My own journey from hiding to showing up
What changed after I finally published that post
How to handle criticism when it comes
Building a support system for courage
The spiritual foundation for bold visibility
🎧 Listen to the podcast episode here
3. Join a Community of Brave Women
You don't have to show up alone. Inside Sisters in Success, we support each other's visibility:
Weekly visibility check-ins
Accountability for hitting publish
Encouragement when fear hits
Celebrating every brave post
No judgment, just support
👯♀️ Join Sisters in Success here
For deeper support, Unmuted & SEEN provides:
Monthly visibility workshops
Small accountability groups
One-on-one check-ins during scary moments
Community that cheers you on
✨ Learn about Unmuted & SEEN here
4. Download Your Visibility Toolkit
Get my free Visibility Checklist: "30 Ways to Show Up When You're Scared" including:
Post templates for when you're blank
Video scripts for nervous moments
Captions you can customize
Mindset mantras for courage
Emergency courage plan
📥 Download your free Visibility Checklist here
5. Take ONE Action Right Now
Before you close this tab:
Choose the SMALLEST scary thing from this list:
Write one sentence about your business and post it
Take one selfie and add it to a post later this week
Record one 15-second video (you don't have to post it today)
Share one vulnerable thought in our Facebook community
Comment below: "I'm scared but I'm showing up anyway"
Then actually do it. Right now.
The Truth That Will Set You Free
One more time, for the woman still hiding:
The fear you feel about being seen? It's real. It's valid. It makes sense based on your history.
But it's also lying to you.
It's lying when it says:
Nobody wants to hear from you
You're not ready yet
You need to be perfect first
It's safer to stay hidden
Your voice doesn't matter
The truth is:
Your fear of being seen is keeping someone else stuck in the dark.
Right now, there's a woman who needs:
The exact message you're afraid to share
The specific solution you're scared to offer
The authentic story you're hesitant to tell
The imperfect example you think isn't good enough
She's searching for you. But she can't find you because you're hiding.
Your visibility isn't about you—it's about her.
So yes, showing up is scary. Yes, being seen feels vulnerable. Yes, you might face criticism or crickets.
But staying hidden guarantees:
She stays stuck
You stay broke
Your gifts stay buried
Your impact stays theoretical
Your purpose stays unfulfilled
And that? That's scarier than any fear of visibility.
So here's what I need you to do:
Hit publish on that post.
Record that video.
Share that story.
Announce that offer.
Show your face.
Use your voice.
Take up space.
Not when you're confident. Now, while you're scared.
Because courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is being terrified and doing it anyway.
And the world needs your courage more than it needs your comfort.
Your light is needed—even if it shakes.
What's the one thing you've been too scared to post? What would you share if fear wasn't holding you back? Tell me in the comments—your courage might give someone else permission to be brave too.
Tammy Maynard is the founder of The Unmuted CEO and creator of Unmuted & SEEN, helping women entrepreneurs show up boldly online despite fear. After years of hiding behind perfectionism and fear of judgment, she finally published that scary post—and it changed everything. Now she helps women go from invisible to unmuted, from hidden to seen, from scared to showing up. Her podcast, Beyond The Comfort Zone, is for women who are tired of letting fear keep them small. She believes that your voice matters even when it shakes—especially when it shakes. Connect with her at Sisters in Success or beacons.ai/tammymaynard.
